Prongs
by AnotherGirlWithAStory
Summary: "Am I really alive?" James asked and in the midst of the chaos Sirius laughed. The words that came from James lips was so odd and yet so right. Sirius nodded. "Yeah, you're alive Prongs."


**Title** : Prongs

 **Characters** : James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black and Harry Potter.

 **Pairing** : Mentions James x Lily.

 **AN** : This idea ( _versions of it if nothing else_ ) has been moving around in my head for some time and I decided that I had to get it out. I have never written about this couple this way before and I feel it's only appropriate to thank Penny (padfootastic) because if it wasn't for you I would not have written this fic. Thanks for opening my eyes to certain things.

Since Peter is their secret keeper Sirius should not know where they live. However, the secret keeper can pass on information and I'm kind of using that as a base for this fic. I am assuming that Peter told Sirius where James and Lily lives. Sirius might have been against it but James trusts Sirius and it can be argued that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Also, I'm sorry in advance for the ending *hides behind a three*.

 **Word Count** : 2, 392

* * *

 _October 1980_

The sun had yet to rise when the sound of Harry screaming reached James' ears. He groaned and rubbed his hazel coloured eyes before stretching out his sore muscles. Lily laid unmoving next to him with her mouth open and a tiny bit of drool dripping from her mouth. When James came to bed late the night before the braid had been perfect but now strands of hair had come lose.

Harry's crying increased in volume and James left the bed as Lily began moving and her face scrunched together in annoyance.

James pulled on a pair of loosely fitting grey pants that hung low on his waist. He put his glasses on and the muscles moved underneath his skin as he stretched his arms upwards. The headache from the day before almost returned when he saw the broken picture still lying on the floor by the stairs. He could almost hear Lily's accusing voice as it went from a whispering tone to a screaming one.

The arguing wasn't out of the ordinary. James knew when they went into hiding that it was going to be boring but he didn't expect them to fight quite as much as they did. The man ran his hand through his hair as he walked into Harry's bedroom and look at his son. James couldn't help but smile.

Harry, already at that age, looked so much like him that it was almost scary. But the eyes were all Lily.

"Hello handsome." He spoke with a sleepy sounding voice and lifted Harry from his bed. "You're all done sleeping? Good choice mate. I wasn't that tired either. Let's go eat breakfast shall we. But you have to promise not to fall asleep on me again."

James kissed Harry's head and then cradled him so that his tiny head rested against his chest above, or if nothing else in close proximity, to James heart. He glanced at the pictures that hung on the wall next to the stairs and smiled. They looked truly happy in the first few pictures. But they looked less happy in the more recent pictures. James smile almost fell from his face until he realised that Harry had already fallen asleep by the time he reached the last step.

* * *

 _November 1980_

"Your son doesn't want to go to sleep right now." Lily commented with a laugh as she came into the kitchen carrying Harry in her arms.

James was just about to take him from Lily when a voice interrupted him. "Give me my godson."

"It's your birthday mate," James began while he watched Lily walked over to Sirius to hand him Harry. "And he's been in a really bad mood this past month. Are you sure you want to spend your birthday being screamed at by a baby?"

Sirius laughed and leaned back onto the chair before resting his legs against the chair between him and James that Lily had left empty when she told them that she was going to bed. Sirius didn't comment that Lily walked straight by James like he wasn't even there. Just like he opted for not asking about the broken vase that was barely hidden in the living room.

"Hand him to me." He cradled Harry against his chest so that the boy with the big emerald green eyes could see him. Sirius smiled down at his godson and then looked at James. "This is exactly how I want to spend my birthday Prongs."

James glanced at Lily. She squeezed his shoulder before walking out of the kitchen and James took another sip of his beer. "I'm very glad to hear that mate. Happy birthday!"

James wanted to tell Sirius that he was glad because he needed his brother. Sirius wanted to ask James what was going on. But neither said anything out loud. Somehow the other understood anyway.

* * *

 _December 1980_

Lily and James laughed. It was Christmas. They were having fun. They were celebrating to the extent they could if nothing else. They both tried to act as if it didn't matter that they couldn't invite any friends because the friends they had were all out fighting or hiding. They didn't want to think about the faith of those who wasn't included in those former groups.

Lily tried to ignore the fact that they didn't eat any of the food her mother normally made. But every now and again her eyes would glaze over as if she was somewhere else in a different time altogether.

James tried to ignore the fact that he didn't get to reminisce in the Potter manor where he had celebrated with his parents and then Sirius. But when Lily looked away he allowed the pain to show on his face and for those few seconds he looked absolutely heartbroken.

They tried to celebrate Christmas. But they failed.

* * *

 _January 1981_

On January 30th, they realised that they had been in hiding a total of around six months. Most of the day was spent in silence. James sat in the corner of the living room with a book in front of him and the two-way mirror next to him. He knew that Sirius was busy but that didn't stop him from hoping that his face would appear on the shiny surface.

Lily sat on the floor with Harry in front of her. She had told him months earlier that she didn't want to celebrate her birthday. Instead she opted for watching Harry in silence as he went back and forth between laying still, laughing, looking at things and moving.

When he was completely still Lily tickled his stomach, and smiled at him. "You're such a sweet boy." Harry would laugh and then Lily would laugh too. "Yes, you are. You're a precious boy and I love you."

James smiled at them from the corner of the room. He heard the emptiness in Lily's laughter but decided to ignore it. She probably heard the emptiness in his too.

* * *

 _February 1981_

James knew that he had forgotten something. He was one hundred percent certain that he had forgotten something. And he realised what in the middle of the night. James groaned loudly. Valentine's Day. He had missed it. He thought about how he was going to apologise as he wandered Harry's room in the middle of the night with the wide-awake baby in his arms.

"Maybe I should buy your mum a gift. That sounds like a good idea doesn't it Harry?" he looked at his beautiful son but only got a smile in return. "I could do that. Well, no I can't do that because we're really in hiding now and leaving the house to buy a gift would get me into a lot of trouble and we don't want that right now."

The discussion between father and son continued long after Harry had fallen asleep. That's when James realised that he wasn't the only one who had forgotten about Valentine's Day.

* * *

 _March 1981_

He was full of energy on his birthday and not in the good way. He was full of energy in the way children were full of energy after having eaten too much sugar. Sirius could not have arrived earlier and once he was there it took only seconds for James to leave the house. He kept his face hidden by wearing the black hoodie and the torn jeans that Sirius had brought him. Lily had just enough time to comment that they looked like they were brothers with their almost matching outfits before James was out the door.

She wasn't wrong.

Sirius hair was pulled back in a bun, he wore torn jeans and a grey hoodie. He was more muscular then last time James saw him and there was a certain calmness about the way he walked. James on the other hand was completely unable to contain the energy that exploded within him like fireworks.

Sirius listened to his friend speak. He matched his speed and noticed that by the time night came James was back to normal. Still energetic but not in that frenzied and desperate way. He was just James.

"So," Sirius wrapped his arm around James shoulder and just looked at him the way that only Sirius could. "Things aren't good at home."

It wasn't a question. Still James shook his head and said the words that he had been thinking for a few months. "No, things aren't good at home."

* * *

 _April 1981_

On April 1st, something happened. Or it was rather the other way around. Nothing happened. April 1st, was a day of pranks. It was the one day of the year when it was acceptable, not always liked, and almost expected for people to prank each other.

James always played a prank on her. So, Lily waited. She was suspicious about everything he said, did and offered her. But nothing happened. April 1st ended and not a prank was pulled that day. According to Lily nothing happened that day.

James thought about pulling a prank. For a moment that morning he was happy and everything felt normal. But when he started planning he was reminded of the fact that nothing was normal. Everything was wrong still. James sighed. According to him, even if he didn't pull a prank that day, something did happen. He just couldn't say what.

* * *

 _May 1981_

Lily left the house. She had screamed at him. He had screamed at her. Then she left. It took only a few seconds for James to run after her. She hadn't gone far. He was still shaking when he squinted his eyes to look at her in the darkness. The only light was that which the moon and the street lights provided.

"I can't leave." Lily whispered brokenly and just like that the anger left James body. He couldn't even remember what they were fighting about.

Lily turned around. There were dark rings underneath her emerald green eyes. Tears ran down her cheeks and her arms shook against her trembling body. "I want this to be over."

James nodded and although he wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to be over he answered. "Me too."

* * *

 _June 1981_

A gate had been opened. Screams were more common in the Potter household than before. James preferred spending the nights on the couch with Harry in his bed next to the couch while Lily slept in their bedroom. The raven-haired man couldn't sleep. When he wasn't worried about the death eaters finding them, he felt his heart breaking inside of his chest.

Lily didn't sleep either but he never asked what was bothering her. She never asked him what was bothering him either.

When the door opened one night and Sirius walked in James not only thought that he was so happy that he could cry; he did cry. Sirius smiled brokenly at him and sat down on the couch. James leaned his head onto Sirius shoulder as sobs wrecked through his body.

"I'm glad you're here Pads." James whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

Sirius shook his head. "You're never alone Prongs." His wrapped his arms around James and held him closer. "You will always have me."

* * *

 _July 1981_

Harry's birthday came. James and Lily didn't scream at each other. They had cake and James watched Sirius play with Harry while Lily went to sleep. James was under no belief that Sirius didn't notice everything that was wrong between him and Lily. He knew that his brother saw it all. And James was more than grateful that Sirius didn't say anything.

"How's the world?" James asked once Harry had fallen asleep.

Sirius shrugged. "It's chaotic. How are things away from the world?"

James sighed deeply as he raised a glass of whiskey. "It's chaotic."

He wanted to explain in words how good it was to have Sirius there. That was the good part about being more brothers than friends. James didn't have to say anything. Sirius already knew.

* * *

 _August 1981_

The screaming ended. That would have been a good thing but it also meant that they stopped talking. James didn't know what that meant. He didn't know what he felt. Most importantly, he didn't know why he didn't make more attempts at talking to her.

He watched her from the other end of the kitchen table. They took turns feeding Harry but even when it was his turn James would look at her and he would try to see _her_. But he didn't see the redheaded girl that he had fallen in love with. He saw a woman standing on the very edge of what she could handle. If they had been teenagers then maybe he would have tried to save her.

But James had changed too. He was a man on the brink of giving up. They both needed heroes but had no power to save themselves much less each other.

* * *

 _September 1981_

James stared out the window. His hazel coloured eyes were red from crying and he could hear the words she had told him. The first words in weeks. The first words that she had not screamed at him in months. And it was the worst words he had ever heard in his life.

"I don't love you anymore."

* * *

 _October 1981_

The house smelled of soot. His entire body ached and there was a loud ringing in his ear. The last James Potter had seen was the eyes of the man that they had spent the last years hiding from. He had found them. James called out for Lily to take Harry and run. It was him. Then everything became black.

"Oh fuck." James muttered as he felt the exploding pain in his head. "Harry…" He made a bad attempt at getting up but failed.

"Prongs." He just barely heard Sirius voice and squinted his eyes as he saw the shape of his best friend appearing next to him. "Thank Merlin, you're alive. Stupid man, James Fleamont Potter, you are never allowed to do that to me ever again. Are you okay? Can you walk?"

James heard the words but all he could see was Harry whose eyes were red from crying. His tiny hands clutched around Sirius leather jacket so tightly that they turned white. James let out a sigh of relief.

"Harry's okay."

"Yeah, just a bit shaken up." Sirius answered.

"Am I really alive?" James asked and in the midst of the chaos Sirius laughed. The words that came from James lips was so odd and yet so right.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, you're alive Prongs."

 **The end**


End file.
